.. Labeling ..

How do you label yourself?

Taiwan's MRT station

i'm quite sure that none who read this blog knows the movie 'South of Nowhere'

it's a drama that my friend introduce me

that's where is get this quote 'i am not into label'

the label refers to how people should categorize you

whether you are gay man? or lesbian？or bisexual?

whether you are TB? TP? andro? or whatever you call it

who cares ya?

为什么要让性别去阻止我去喜欢一个人？

i don't mind the freaking label people stick on my back

call whatever you want

when i was younger

those people on friendster asked me if i am TB or TP?

how shud i label myself?

if u ask me back that question, i will answer u 'i duno, anything.. up to u'

yeah.. i'm not into labeL...

.. Pathway ..

Left or Right?

the road not taken....

still remember the poem that i read when i was in Form 3?4?

it's talking about the path that he/she took in life

whether it's the ordinary path that almost everybody choose

or it's the road not taken..

i guess i took the one which people would probably jz ignore

when i took the first step out i knew that i wont be easy on me

and indeed it's not for the past few years it's been really hard

but i guess one shall be responsible of what he/she choose

i dont want to give up or surrender

i have my own stand

let me live the life i want.. thank U...

.. Faith ..

do you have the Faith?

faith

used to be my nickname

cz i want to believe

but wad happened in the past

makes me doubt if i am qualify to use this name

and soon i choose to let go

and changed my nick to buggY

i thought i lost the ability to have Faith

until lately i found the reason to believe again

throughout the hardship, i still want to believe it will happen

cz the reason is You....

.. Yamseng ..

不懂几时开始

我喜欢上了酒精冲上头的感觉

让我在不是很清醒的时候

不去想那么多

一起喝吧~

.. 占有欲 ..

你的占有欲有多强呢？

White wine @ skybar..

i guess i never learn anything from the past

still repeating the same mistake again and again

what am i doing?

i am aware of the mistake

and i am trying to correct the mistake

but it's so difficult for me to do that

i've lived with it for so long

it became a part of m3, my personality

i am trying.. really...

i am still trying

当你喜欢一个人

你都希望把他占有对吗？

可是当那占有欲太过强而自己也无法控制的话

就会毁掉自己

我应该是在自残

我讨厌这莫名其妙的感觉....

.. the rule of parsimony ..

something that makes u happY?

i'm da superman~ =)

a simple message

could brightened up my daY~

a simple text/words

could lightened up my entire universE~

a simple gesture

is enough to make a perfect daY~

to acknowledge that there's someone that cares for u

that's what i call as happinesS~

to be able to care for someone that is important to u

that's what i call as infinite happinesS~

everything is perfect when there's u and me~

just a simple and happY us.....

.. how do U label youself? ..

do you give a damn about labeling?

Somewhere around HongKong~

没有在一起和在一起

有分别吗？

没有分别对吧？

只是一种labeling

我明白

我了解

那些顾虑 那些不安

让彼此无法勇敢的说在一起

一直以来已为可以给到对方信心的我

才发觉原来是自己太高估了自己

需要检讨自己的性格 检讨自己的行为

检讨一下自己是不是真的可以给到信心对方

不需要把事情复杂化

只要彼此都开心，在不在一起都不重要

只要有你的陪伴，只要看到你的笑容

只要看到你开心，那就足够了

其他的都不重要了

.. afraid Not? ..

are you afraid of losing someone/something important in ur life?

nice? x.x

不曾拥有

就不会害怕

就没有失去

很想霸道的说一句“你是我的”

但是没有勇气的把这句话说出口

有时候想抛弃理性，往冲动的方向奔

可以吗？

.. id and ego ..

i seriously cannot let the id control the m3!

this is freaking serious and i shall think of a way to reduce the impulsiveness of the id

the id is starting to get wilder and wilder

more aggressive more impulsive

which will only do damage to the m3!

the ego on the other hand, was kinda passive with the whole scenario

sits down at the corner of the small room, just looking at the id running wild

but soon the ego starts to realize that it was time to take action

the id shall not dominate the m3

there must be a balance between the id and the ego

the battle between the ego and the id was seriously torturing the m3!

with all the confused and complicated feeling, it's as if the m3 was living in heLL

but seriously, the m3 and the ego understand that the id is playing a significant role in damaging the connection of the m3 with the outside world...

while the id is running free and wild,

the ego will do its best to repress the effect of the id,

and the m3 will really appreciate what the ego had done....

God bless the m3.......

id! stop hurting m3!!!

giv me sometime to adjust my feeling

everything will be ok.....

.. speeD ..

很久都没有这种感觉了

一种跟速度奔跑的感觉

跑越快越刺激

越觉得自己可以掌控很多东西

看着它一直在升100 110 120 130 140

the adrenaline rush直冲上来

再次爱上了这感觉

.. 贪新忘旧 ..

星座书说，

白羊座的人喜欢新鲜的东西

换句话来说就是贪新忘旧

是吗？

一半一半吧~

有时候我觉得自己还蛮贪新鲜的东西

可能是因为我很爱玩吧

所以对新鲜的东西很好奇

有时候也难免会忽略到一些东西

这是缺点吗？

对于一般东西也许这贪玩爱新鲜的心态是件好事

对于那些旅行啊研究啊读书啊，这种心态也是好的

但是如果说到对感情方面的东西，通常人都会想到一些负面的东西吧

贪心忘旧就是不好的~

以前我还真的以为我是很痴情的人

原来我不是

我以为我是很专一的人

原来我不是

但我也不是个花心的人

对感情我会很认真 所以我不会花心

但是我也不是想象中那么的痴情

因为我有了白羊座应该要有的性格，贪新忘旧

嗯~ 应该是这样.....

是吗？ x.x

它陪了我5年~

我还是带着它~ 不舍得把它取代

那我还算是贪新忘旧的人吗？

.. escapE ..

I'm home

back to KL.... ='(

i think i am having this travelling addiction

it feels good to be home, but I don't wana stay long here

wana travel to another place, don't wana stop

keep planning my next destination.. don't care if it's international or domestic

as long as I am away from.... i duno.....

i guess i am unwilling to come back to the reality

the fact that i graduated and need to start a new life

running from my responsibility? from the new life?

or maybe i just wana enjoy my life before i start working life?

i don't know... maybe a bit of both? =)

i guess i'm gonna hate the airport soon

cz both of my dearest will be leaving to UK from this place

and i know it's gonna b hard to say GoodBye......

.. Taiwan Reflection ..

Hi people,

I am back from Taiwan

but I am leaving to HongKong soon, in a few more hours

A week in Taiwan is like heaven

自由自在的

无忧无虑的

开开心心的

自己乱走 自己乱撞

每天早上起来第一句就是“今天要去哪里？”

然后我都会说“等你冲凉好了再讲”

自己计划自己的行程

很写意~ =)

当然也要有一个很好的伴~

with a great companion, everything seems just perfect

rite?

We went to lots of places~

台北 - 士林，基隆，九份，金瓜石，乌来，淡水，八里 bla bla bla

都是去看风景 看山看水看树看花草树木 看瀑布

很多很难忘的事情

踩单车，玩到去爬山，下雨也出去，地震都不知道

还好我们两个都很爱山水爱看风景 不是一定要shopping

每天都搭公车 然后搭MRT 自己乱闯

多远也要去一趟

晚上回来去7-11吃宵夜 吃牛肉泡面 吃鸡皮

hahahahhaa

我们两的遗憾只有一个，就是没有去到一个叫‘万里’的地方

一个很漂亮的地方... 也没办法

虽然最后还是shop不够，也没关系

我相信还有second round... few years later =)

the bridge on the fisherman's wharf

很漂亮的一道桥~

Taiwan is very different from KL

although Taipei is the city center, it's still different from KL

You won't see lots of tall tall building around

the houses there were pretty old, and small

there will be lots of stall selling all kind of foods in one street

oh yea, don't be fooled by those ads saying that ShiLin's food is a must to try

haha.. i will not recommend u there... cz the food there were average only

we didn't really eat that much

most of the time we were starving... x.x

believe it or not, i went to Taiwan but i didn't eat oyster meeSua... XD

see my travel partner... her name is SiaoPo.. XD

i guess we have quite many things in common....

i only knew her 4 mths, but i went to Taiwan with her instead of those i knew for almost 10 years

hahaha.. see how special ur siaoPo! XD

luv this kind of traveling~

a different way of travelling...

normally i follow my parents, stay at the hotel, walk shopping mall, eat at restaurant

but this time,

a small backpack, with my baby D90, with t-shirt short pants and slipper,

a bottle of water, a free mind and open heart, take buses and MRT or walk instead of taxi, it's really a different feeling.........

i see more things, i get to explore more stuff more places

our random moment at YeLiu GeoPark

this is what we do everyday....

bully each other... but.. we r happy.. XD

thanx for the companion~

i enjoy every moment with u... =)

Bye Taiwan...

Hi HongKong~

.. im ok ..

don't ask me why i am emo for this past few days

that's how i felt

thing that disturbed me a lot

after 2 weeks break,

i met my counselor again.. today

seems like i got lots of issue to talk about huh.. =)

she is right.. and i admit that i let things controlled me

my defense is not strong enough to prevent it from controlling my emotion

how dumb am i

she threw me questions.. asked me to think about them

i dare not think about them

i am afraid of what i will discover

the feeling inside... what will it be?

.. don't go ..

please don't go will ya?

don't leave me alone here

不要走好吗？

不要离开我......

the feeling of losing someone

the fear of losing someone

the fact that you have to lose someone

scared the shit out of you

to be precise... ME

i meant every word that i said

i know things that i've said before

when i say 'don't go', i mean it

but somehow, it doesnt make any difference

你的离开已让我难以释怀

你的离开让我觉得很无奈

你的离开会让我很寂寞很孤单

你的离开会让我很难过

忽然觉得

很孤单

there's nothing i can do

无能为力

if i ask you to stay, would you stay for me?

你会留下来吗？

don't go....

.. sMilLe ..

they were smiling

they are smiling

and they will always smile

smiling bee~

baby~ =)

=)

smiling greenie~

and metoo....

=)

hopes u understand

im sorry....

.. 雨过天晴？ ..

todaY is quite an emo day for me

everything doesn't seem to work out well

i don't know.. i just dont like todaY

晴天娃娃

that's wad ppl call it

i hang it on my cupboard

all of sudden i don't know how to continue with the post

no idea what to write.....

i have doubts

there are things that i could not figure out

things that i wanted to know the truth behind

but too afraid to find out what it is

did it exist?

or it's merely my illusion?

was it real?

or it's just another sad things that will happen in my life?

i guess i shouldn't have any expectation in the first place

i should know that i don't have the right to have any expectation

just wake me up...

slap me on the face and i'll wake up

btw,

i am disappointed with some people

disappointed with the decision made

never ever i thought that i would happened

seriously disappointed....

.. clear Mind ..

look at this!!!!

it's the SPSS INPUT and OUTPUT!

look at how scary it is! X.x

days and nite

i've been searching for the method to analyze my result

logistic regression? hierarchical loglinear? discriminant analysis?

so confused with all the stat test for categorical data

and sadly John didnt reply my email

enuf of the stress? NO!

tien seng told me we need to run for normality test

checking for the skewness and kurtosis... wtf?

wad alien language is that? check for normal distribution?

omgbbq~ i know i have extra stuff to stress about

few days back

i was trying and trying.. running the test

all various test.. any test that i can find

flip the book... check on9

finding stuff that can help me understand what the heck is happening

but all the effort returned with nothing but more stress and stress

somehow i could find anything helpful

and thing just doesnt make any sense to me

every book, every website seems like speaking alien language that i dont understand

stoned.. stressed.. confused.. depressed...

seriously...

and i skipped result part

start with my discussion.. writing on my weaknesses and future recommendation

but the thing is... the result keep haunting me

it's like i couldnt continue with discussion if i didnt finish my result part

crapp~

jz now i tried again

running my test one by one

starting from main effect using chi-square

then interaction effect using both loglinear and logistic regression

somehow i figure out something

somehow i understand what i am doing

i got significant result for my main effect and non sig. for interaction effect

wooo~ i got the aha moment

checked the webbie on how to interpret

and somehow i understand the alien language!

figured out few things

now is the problem of running a normality test

hmm.. categorical variables are really pain in da ass... x.x

after whole day being outside

my mind become a little bit clearer

having to escape from thesis for that 6-7 hours

everything seems a little better

i guess i was too stressed out with things happening around me

+

with the lack of sleeep

=

brain damage + mental blockage + cognitive impairment

okay~

since i've figure out my stat

imma ready to start off my result part

and i need sleep now

tml will be a better daY~

i luv my thesis.. i really mean it

.. 加油 ..

继续加油~

还有一个星期而已

再多一个星期大家都自有了

最近大家都在拼命赶thesis

日做也做 做不停

为最后一场战而奋斗

请不要分心

没有任何东西比目前的thesis来的重要

一定要把它做好

有些事情发生了就无法回头了

请原谅我 我真的不是有心的

你应该知道吧

为未来的战~

cheers

.. untitled (i) ..

oh crap!

feeling really stress....

ima so fucked up